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Golf Artwork of The Links

Fourth in a series of Golf Artwork

I ‘ve had to turn down more golfing invitations than I can count; it must be well over one hundred in the past year alone.

Scheduling or travelling is usually the culprit, but to be brutally honest, I feel sort of guilty relief that I’m often “regrettably unable to accept.”

Why? Because I’m not that good – in fact, I stink.

I’m a genuine no-foolin’ Rain Man when it comes to putting, but my driving technique looks like I’m trying to kill a snake.

So if I’m unable to accept your invitation, please don’t be offended … I might be doing you a favor.

Once, years ago while out with Foo, I was having such a bad time of it that I ended up throwing the ball; it went straighter. And farther.  And I haven’t got much better since.

In the early 90’s I was a new hotshot sales rep in a company who’d inexplicably hired me, and at the annual company golf tournament, El Presidente paired be with his Number One Guy from down east. Apparently, Number One’s job was to assess me for advancement.

Aw, crap.

Number One’s wife and my then-girlfriend were joining us, which was fortunate, as my girlfriend hadn’t golfed before.  I figured that’d help my case…but I still got last!  And I’m dumb enough to tell them I’d golfed before!

My days were numbered – and with the girlfriend too, as it turned out – but at least I learned something. From now on I would either politely decline the invitation, or tell them I’ve never done it before (for about the 30th time running).

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